I beg of you, be fun!
Be a nice and kind person, too, absolutely!
There is a pitfall, though if this is the main and sole priority in any of our roles.
You have got to equally be fun and that means interesting! That means you grow, you connect, you live, and this is when your self-confidence goes up.
Every day, I talk to people and most of them are the epitome of kindness. They are not all necessarily happy, though. Many of them carry their responsibilities in misery and agony, hoping for a better day, …magically…without them being part of this magic. Saving the world is one thing, being a downer, all day is another.
There is a reason many get attracted to a ‘wild’ someone. It is because they are fun, they have stories to tell, they try new things, all important aspects to want to be with someone. If they then are not reliable, we will eventually walk away but that does not take away the fact that we need these elements in our life together.
We want people to be kind AND fun. Only kind will not excite or inspire us. Got to be a little or a whole lot crazy!
When I lose connection with anyone in my life is when I lose my nice dose of silliness. I lose my dance moves and my groove. When our kids were younger and even now sometimes…I was pretending I was the robot. I would chase them for hours and their screams would shake the house.
I asked them recently if they ever believed it and their faces lit up. They recounted the many times that the robot chased them, and Victor confessed that he had once considered that it might be true. It was Isabelle who had then reassured him that she had checked my body for the battery’s socket and there was not any….but Victor had insisted that maybe it’s the vitamin C I took every day – maybe this is how their mother robot loaded herself and kept going. These robot moments balanced out the times I was ‘absent’, locked in worry…they keep hope alive and make kids believe… that mom could ‘put on her robot’ self any moment now and start chasing us or come up with a new idea to laugh from our belly, move our body and hug tight!
Kids can rely on good, nice parents. They will not necessarily count on them though for good company if the parents don’t work on also being fun. And then slowly and mostly unconsciously they will stop listening to them or following their example and teachings. Because if you don’t work on being fun, you end up a nuisance, a constant nag and energy-less! This is when spouses and kids alike turn to other ways to fill this gap and maybe get in dangerous liaisons.
You are a romantic partner?
You are a parent?
You are a friend?
You are a colleague?
You want a great sex life?
You want your business to thrive?
You better be FUN!
So, listen up!
Instead of talking about your parents, how the economy is about to collapse and how your spouse does not get you, instead of recounting your failures and bad luck and feeling sorry for yourself, take some solid steps so you like yourself better first, get self-motivated and act:
- initiate conversations of some depth – emotions, brains strategies, relationships, ….and have a message mainly for yourself. We are emotions and when we acknowledge them, we become people’s magnet!
- initiate a conversation light and nice embarrassing, just for laughs ….and have no message for anyone! Stop being the voice of reason and ethics …. all the time!
- tell stories, entertaining of all sorts with nice messages and lots of fun, come up with personal anecdotes and experiences – replace with excessive ‘orders’ and ‘instructions’ regarding the household or the finances!
- read a book – not only about sad stories, sad novels or ones ending to loss and destruction. Read a book that teaches you something about communication, vitality, relationships, intimacy, kids, emotions, money making – read and take notes, change your routine right away with an element that appealed to you.
- learn new things, start a hobby to feel more joy! Discover associations and causes to join and contribute!
- SMILE more at home and at work! Be energy booster, an energy beam!
- listen to anyone around you, invite different people and treat them nice omelette, take time to treat your kid a waffle and listen to their stories at a nice cafe …, listen without judgment! Connect with different people, get out of your comfort zone. Nurture your friendships.
- call people for no reason!
- play the guitar and sing as loud as you can.
- be silly, be a robot!